Invitation text message: examples and etiquette

Say what the event is, when and where it is, and how to reply. Everything else is optional.

If the person may not have your number saved, start with your name. The Emily Post Institute suggests this for any text, and it keeps your invitation from looking like a message from a stranger.

Copy a template, fill in the brackets and read it once on your phone before you send it. Each one is short enough to read without scrolling.

For a longer birthday message, the birthday invitation wording guide linked below has full invitations.

Write it like a small invitation: the occasion first, the details next and the reply request last. These six steps keep it short.

1. Start with the occasion and your name. The first words show in the notification preview, so "Sam's 30th birthday dinner" works better than "Hey, so…".
2. Give the weekday and the date. "Saturday, May 8" is clearer than "next weekend."
3. Add the start time, and the end time if it matters.
4. Add the place. Paste the full address or drop a map pin in the same text.
5. Ask for a reply with a date: "Can you let me know by Wednesday?"
6. Read it once, then send it as one message. Five quick bubbles are easy to miss.

The Emily Post Institute's texting advice is to keep a text brief, and to call if it runs long. If your invitation needs more than a few lines, send a link to an invitation page instead.

Send one-to-one texts to guests who don't all know each other, and use a group chat only for close friends. A link to an invitation page works in both.

1. Make your guest list with a mobile number for each person.
2. Choose one-to-one texts, a group chat or an invitation link, using the table below.
3. Write the text once, then paste it into each thread and change the name.
4. Send it in the daytime, not late at night.
5. Write each reply on your list the moment it arrives.
6. Text a reminder a few days before your reply-by date to anyone who has not answered.

How early to send depends on the event. The Emily Post Institute's timing guide says a casual party invitation can go out the same day or up to two weeks ahead, and a formal dinner three to six weeks ahead.

A group chat is easiest for close friends, one-to-one texts are the most private, and an invitation link keeps every reply in one list.

A thumbs-up or a heart is not an RSVP. It can mean "I saw this" or "I'm coming," so ask for a clear yes or no.

A group chat is enough when everyone already knows each other, the plan is loose and you don't need a firm count.

• The group already uses the chat for plans like this.
• There is no caterer count, meal choice or ticket to book.
• Everyone is happy for the others to see their number and their answer.

Pin a short summary with the date, time and place so new messages don't bury it. Ask people to answer with words, not just a reaction.

A text alone is not enough for a formal event, a long guest list or anything that needs meal choices, plus-ones or a firm headcount.

For a wedding, the Emily Post Institute still prefers a printed invitation. It says electronic invitations are fine for a save-the-date, a shower or a bachelor or bachelorette party. For a seated dinner with meal choices, an invitation link keeps each person's answers attached to their name.

Keep one guest list, and write every reply into it, whether it came by text, chat, phone or an invitation link.

If you also use a group chat, share the invitation link there and say that replies go through the link. If someone answers in the chat or calls you, add their answer to the list yourself. Co-hosts follow the same rule.

When plans change, update the invitation first. Then text the people the change affects, so nobody is left with old details.

Text only people who gave you their number, send at a polite hour and keep private details out of big groups.

Services that text guests for you follow wireless-industry guidance. CTIA's May 2023 messaging principles ask senders to confirm an opt-in and to use standard STOP wording for opting out. That is why every invitation and host message InviteBird texts to guests includes "Reply STOP to opt out."

A short reminder before the deadline and one personal check after it are enough. Keep each one to a line or two.

To choose the reply-by date itself, use the RSVP deadline guide linked below.

Add a mobile number for each guest who has no email address, and InviteBird texts them your invitation link. You can also share the same link in any group chat yourself.

1. Add your guests. A guest with only a mobile number gets a text; a guest with an email address gets an email instead. Texts go to US and Canada mobile numbers.
2. When you send, tick one box to confirm that each of those guests gave you their number for event updates.
3. The first text names you and your event and includes the link to see the invitation and RSVP. Guests can reply on the link right away; replying YES only signs them up for event texts.
4. Texts that would arrive overnight wait until morning in the guest's time zone.
5. For a group chat, tap Share on your host desk. Copy the link, or use the WhatsApp button, which writes the message for you.
6. Replies from texts, emails and the shared link all land in one RSVP list.

Scheduled reminders and nudges go by email only, so a guest you invited by text won't get them. Resend invite reaches a phone-only guest by text, subject to their text opt-in, or you can text them yourself. Design free, pay when you send — from $9.99.