Friendsgiving ideas: menu, decor and games

Start with these twelve ideas, then use the sections below for the menu, the table, the games and a countdown. Pick two or three that suit your group and your space.

1. Make the turkey or main dish yourself, and let friends sign up for sides, desserts and drinks.
2. Share one bring list, so the table gets a balance of dishes rather than four bags of chips.
3. Add a vegetarian main and one gluten-free dessert, so every guest has a full plate.
4. Try a global menu where each friend brings a dish from a family recipe or a favorite trip.
5. Roll kraft paper over the table and set out markers for doodles and thank-you notes.
6. Go around the table and have each person say one thing they appreciate about the friend to their left.
7. Hold a pie bake-off with paper ballots and a silly prize.
8. Run a small gift swap with a low price limit after dessert.
9. Play a round of trivia or sketch-and-guess while the turkey rests.
10. Set up a cider and hot chocolate bar instead of a full bar.
11. Move dessert outside to a fire pit, or end with a movie on a sheet in the yard.
12. Send everyone home with a to-go box of leftovers.

Friendsgiving is a Thanksgiving-style meal shared with friends instead of family. Dictionary.com describes it as an informal feast held on or near Thanksgiving Day, often on another day close to the holiday, especially the day or night before.

In the US, Thanksgiving falls on the fourth Thursday of November. A weekend before the holiday also works well, so nobody has to choose between friends and family travel.

Ask your friends for two or three possible dates before you send anything. The night that suits most people is the right night.

Choose the format before the menu, because it decides what you cook, what friends bring and what you spend. A potluck, or a hybrid where the host makes the main dish, spreads the work most evenly.

If you are new to hosting, start with the hybrid. You control the centerpiece dish and the timing, and your friends make the meal feel shared.

Split a Friendsgiving potluck with one shared bring list. List every dish, drink and supply the table needs, with how many of each, and let friends claim items as they reply.

1. Decide what you are making yourself. In a hybrid, that is the main dish and the gravy.
2. List the rest by course: appetizers, sides, desserts, drinks and supplies.
3. Plan about two items per guest: one dish, plus a drink or a supply.
4. Put the must-haves first, such as the stuffing, the potatoes and the pie, so they are claimed early.
5. Add a row for friends who do not cook, such as ice, rolls, chairs or to-go containers.
6. A few days before the dinner, check what is still open and buy it yourself or ask a friend directly.

With InviteBird, the bring list rides along with your invitation. Each item gets a category and a number from 1 to 99. There are six ready categories (Mains, Appetizers, Sides, Desserts, Drinks and Supplies), and you can add your own.

Friends who reply yes see an optional step that asks if they want to bring something, and they claim an item in one tap. A fully claimed item shows as already covered, so nobody can grab the last pie twice. Guests do not see who is bringing what; you and your co-hosts do.

If a friend changes their reply to no, their claims go back on the list by themselves. You can download the list as a PDF for the day. If you would rather collect dishes on paper, the printable potluck sign-up sheet linked below has a blank sheet and a host checklist.

Serve the classics most friends expect, then add one or two dishes that make the night your own. Give every course at least one vegetarian or gluten-free choice, so nobody eats only rolls.

A potluck works best with dishes that travel well and reheat easily. Casseroles, roasted vegetables, salads dressed at the table and pies beat anything that must be served straight from the stove. For safety, the USDA's Thanksgiving guide says cooked turkey must reach at least 165 °F, and perishable food should not sit out for more than two hours (one hour above 90 °F).

Ask about allergies before the menu is set. The FDA counts nine major food allergens: milk, eggs, fish, crustacean shellfish, tree nuts, peanuts, wheat, soybeans and sesame. As each dish arrives, have the cook write on a card which of the nine are in it.

If you cook the meal yourself, InviteBird's menu can collect allergy and dietary notes from each guest as they reply.

A theme gives friends a hint for what to bring and what to wear, and it does not need to cost much. Pick one idea, carry it through the table and the playlist, and keep the rest simple.

• Harvest table: a linen runner, mini pumpkins, pinecones and candles in jars.
• Kraft paper tablecloth: brown paper over the table and a cup of markers at each end for doodles and thank-yous.
• Around-the-world potluck: each friend brings a dish from their family or a trip, with a card that names the place.
• Cozy night in: sweaters or pajamas, blankets on the sofa, and a movie after dessert.
• Fire pit Friendsgiving: dinner inside, then pie and cider outside by the fire.
• Brunch Friendsgiving: a turkey hash, waffles, a cider bar and an early finish.
• Candlelit dinner party: cloth napkins, low candles and one long table.
• Mismatched-plate table: everyone brings a plate, and the table looks better for it.
• Leftovers swap: a stack of to-go boxes and labels, so every guest leaves with a little of everything.
• Hot drinks bar: cider, hot chocolate and tea with cinnamon sticks and whipped cream.

Keep centerpieces low, so friends can see each other across the table. Battery candles are a safer pick near coats, paper and markers.

Fun Friendsgiving activities fall into two groups: a gratitude moment at the table and a game or contest after the meal. One of each is plenty, and conversation will fill the rest.

Host Friendsgiving on a budget by making one dish yourself and sharing the rest. In a small space, serve from a counter so the table only holds plates and glasses.

• Make the main dish the one thing you spend on, and ask friends to cover sides, desserts and drinks.
• Choose a turkey breast, roast chicken or a big pot of chili instead of a whole bird for a small group.
• Ask friends to bring a drink to share instead of buying a full bar.
• Borrow chairs, plates and serving spoons from friends; add them to the bring list as supplies.
• Push the dining table and a folding table together under one long cloth.
• Use floor cushions, a bench or the sofa for extra seats, and eat buffet-style.
• Set coats, bags and extra drinks in the bedroom or on the balcony to free up the main room.
• Make dessert a pie potluck, since pies travel well and need no oven space.

Plan Friendsgiving about three weeks ahead, and set the reply date about a week before the dinner. That week gives you time to fill gaps in the bring list and shop for the rest.

For that thank-you, the Thanksgiving wishes guide linked below has short lines for a Friendsgiving group chat.

A Friendsgiving invitation needs the date, the time, the address, the format and a reply date. If friends are bringing dishes, say so in the invitation and point them to the bring list.

With InviteBird, you can send your invitation by email, by text in the US and Canada, or as a link for the group chat. Email reminders skip anyone who already replied. The bring list is part of the RSVP: friends answer first, and those who say yes can then claim a dish.

A 12-person Friendsgiving fits the Nest plan, which covers up to 25 guests. Design free, pay when you send — from $9.99. For friends who are away for the holiday, an animated Thanksgiving card costs $4.99 with no subscription.