When to send wedding invitations: the etiquette

Mail or send wedding invitations six to eight weeks before the wedding. Brides gives that range, and it is the one our RSVP deadline guide uses. Go to the early end when guests travel, and earlier still when much of your list lives abroad.

The table puts each step next to who recommends it. Where two sources differ, both numbers are shown, so you can pick the one that fits your guest list.

Why do the numbers differ? Each source weighs two needs differently. A short window keeps the date fresh in guests' minds, and a long one gives travelers time to book.

Send save-the-dates about four to six months before the wedding, and earlier for a destination wedding, says Brides. They are optional, but they help most when guests must travel or book rooms. A save-the-date promises an invitation, so send one only to people you are sure to invite.

A save-the-date gives the date, the town and a note that the invitation will follow. The invitation comes later with the full details: the hosts, the time, the venue and how to reply. The wording guide linked below has lines for both.

Email is fine for a save-the-date, according to the Emily Post Institute, which keeps paper for the invitation itself. Brides suggests having your wedding details online by the time save-the-dates go out, so travelers can start planning.

Give traveling guests more notice by sending the invitations at the early end, eight weeks out. For a destination wedding, Brides suggests mailing invitations about four months ahead. Published advice on destination weddings varies widely, so let your hotel's dates guide you.

• A few guests overseas: send their invitations with everyone else's, and call or email them a heads-up first, as Brides suggests.
• Much of the family abroad: Brides suggests at least 12 weeks.
• A holiday weekend or a busy travel season: send eight weeks out, as our RSVP deadline guide suggests.

Set the reply-by date three weeks before a local wedding, or four weeks before when many guests travel. That is the date in our RSVP deadline guide, linked below. It sits inside the published ranges: two to three weeks from the Emily Post Institute, three to four weeks from Brides.

The date that really matters is your caterer's or venue's deadline for a final count. Put the reply-by date a week before it, so you have time to call anyone who has not answered.

For a destination wedding, Brides asks for replies two months before. Our RSVP deadline guide suggests letting the hotel decide: one to two weeks before unbooked rooms in your block go back to the hotel.

On a paper invitation, guests reply with a card, or at a website or QR code printed on it. On an online invitation, they reply at the link by the date you set.

In InviteBird, you set "Ask guests to reply by" in the invitation editor. Guests then see an "RSVP by" line with that date.

• Reminders go by email to guests who have not replied and have an email on file. You time them in days before the event: 7, 3, 1 or a custom number.
• To land a reminder a week before a reply-by date three weeks out, set it 28 days before the wedding.
• You can choose to stop new replies automatically after the date. Guests who already replied can still edit their answer.

Count back from your wedding day, one step at a time. Here is the full plan for one Saturday wedding, using the ranges above.

Swap in your own date and your caterer's count date, and the rest follows. If the caterer wants numbers earlier, move the reply-by date earlier by the same amount.

Address each invitation to everyone it invites, by full name, with titles on a formal envelope. The Emily Post Institute's rules below cover most households. Ask a guest how they like their name written when you are not sure.

An inner envelope used to list exactly who was invited, and by leaving names off, who was not. When an invitation has only one envelope, the names on the outside carry that message.

On an online invitation, your guest list does the job of the envelopes. Make each household one guest entry, with a name and an email or phone number. The people coming with that guest are recorded and named on the same entry.

The extra-guest limit is set for the whole event, and a guest's own reply sets their party up to that limit. For an adults-only wedding, set the event to no extra guests, so each reply covers one person.

If you invite a few children or named companions anyway, record them on that household's entry yourself. Then check the household's party on your guest list once they reply.

If you also share one link with everyone, turn on "Only guests on my list can RSVP". InviteBird then checks the name and email or phone a guest enters against your guest list.

Invite the wedding party and their partners, the officiant, and close family. Send the invitations three to six weeks ahead, with directions and a way to reply. Both the Emily Post Institute and Brides give that window.

Out-of-town guests are welcome but not required. Brides calls inviting them a kind thank-you for the trip. The Emily Post Institute notes that close friends from out of town sometimes join.

Traditionally, the groom's family hosts the rehearsal dinner, but it is not a rule. Either family can host, the couple can host, or both families can share it. The invitation can be printed, handwritten, phoned or emailed, depending on how formal the dinner is.

Leave gifts and registry details off the invitation, and keep extra details on an insert or your event page. Anna Post of the Emily Post Institute lists the basics every invitation needs: who is hosting, what the event is, who is marrying, the date, the time and place, and how to reply.

For ready-made adults-only, plus-one and reply lines, see the wedding invitation wording guide linked below.

It can be, but etiquette writers do not agree. Brides answers "Yes" in its guide to digital invitations, updated July 27, 2026. Its own timing guide still says to mail a printed invitation to every guest.

The Emily Post Institute holds the traditional view. It prefers a printed invitation for the wedding itself. Email is fine for save-the-dates, informal pre-wedding parties and as one way to reply.

You do not have to choose one for everyone. Mail printed invitations to the guests who expect paper, and send the rest a link. When a reply comes back by phone or mail, add it yourself on the InviteBird Guests tab.

InviteBird sends each guest one invitation, by email or by text to a US or Canada mobile number. Every send also makes a link you can share yourself. Guests reply at the link with no account or app.

Choose a design, add your guests, set the reply-by date, and send by email or text. Replies, party sizes and plus-one names collect in one guest list.

InviteBird invitations are design free, pay when you send — from $9.99. Plans are one-time per event and sized by guest count, plus-ones included. Flight is $49.99 for up to 100 guests, and Soar is $89.99 for up to 250.