How to address wedding invitations: examples

Use titles and full names, spell out every word except the titles, and name every person who is invited. The Emily Post Institute adds two more: no middle initials, and both members of a married couple are always named.

These are the forms for a formal wedding. For a casual one, first names without titles are fine, such as "Maria and Rafael Castillo".

Name both people. A couple who share a last name and use traditional titles can be "Mr. and Mrs." with the husband's full name. Otherwise, give each person a title and full name, joined by "and".

If the names don't fit on one line, put the second name on the next line, starting with "and".

Emily Post suggests asking two married men whether they prefer "Mr. and Mr." or "the Messrs." on the envelope. For two married women, "Ms. and Ms. Ruiz" follows the same pattern, so ask them too.

Give a single guest a title and full name. An unmarried couple who live together share one envelope, with both full names joined by "and", on one line if they fit.

Mx. is a title anyone can use, and it does not point to a gender. Miss is usually kept for girls under 18, and children listed under their parents need no title at all.

For a widow, Emily Post calls "Mrs." with her late husband's name the traditional choice when you don't know her preference. If you can, ask her.

If an unmarried couple live apart, none of the sources we opened gives one set form. Our suggestion: send each partner their own invitation, or send it to the guest you know and name the partner on the inner envelope.

Name the companion if you know who it is. If you don't, Emily Post's advice is to keep "and Guest" off the outer envelope: address it to your guest alone and write "and Guest" on the inner envelope.

Not everyone agrees. Banter and Charm, a wedding stationer, simply writes "and guest" on the envelope. Emily Post calls that awkward and impersonal on the outer envelope and says to use the companion's name whenever you can.

When you learn the companion's name in time, Emily Post adds that you can send them their own invitation too.

Put the parents on the first line and each invited child below them, by first and last name, without a title. With an inner envelope, the children go there instead, under the parents' titles and last name.

Use "The Castillo Family" only if every person living there is invited. Paperlust, a stationery marketplace, calls this form fine for a casual wedding but not for a formal black-tie one. Grown children get their own invitation even when they live with their parents: Banter and Charm and Paperlust both give 18 as the age.

For an adults-only wedding, the names do the work. Emily Post explains that the inner envelope shows exactly who is invited and, by leaving names off, who is not.

If a reply comes back with children added, Emily Post's advice is to call right away and kindly. Explain that the invitation was for the guests named on it, and stay firm if they push.

Put the higher title first. A doctor, a military officer or an elected official is listed before a spouse without that title, whatever their gender.

Emily Post uses the rank itself as the title, such as Colonel or General. Regular service members keep their titles in retirement, so ask a retired guest how they like to be addressed.

An elected official goes first in the same way: "The Honorable Ruth Adler and Mr. Paul Adler". Medical and academic doctors both use Dr.

The outer envelope carries the guests' titles, full names and mailing address. The inner envelope, if you use one, repeats only the titles and last names and lists any invited children, so it shows exactly who is invited.

Without an inner envelope, the outer one does both jobs. Write the adults on the first line, invited children below them, and a known companion's name beside your guest's. Paperlust calls the inner envelope an optional tradition; Emily Post still describes both.

Use the address where you want replies and gifts to arrive, usually the hosts' home. Emily Post notes that guests are likely to send both to the return address on the outer envelope, and that "RSVP" on its own points replies there too.

Names are optional. Banter and Charm says the hosts' names can be left off the return address. If you add a name, use the hosts', since the address is theirs.

Traditionally, the return address goes on the back flap. Paperlust notes that the top-left corner of the front is also widely accepted and easier for mail-sorting machines.

Emily Post says to address wedding envelopes by hand, with no labels, even for a long list. Stationers see it differently: Banter and Charm offers printed addressing, and Paperlust sells printed return address labels.

On eight points, respected sources give different answers. Pick one approach for each and use it on every envelope.

Here is one small guest list, written for a formal paper invitation and for an online one. It shows how each household moves from two envelopes to one guest-list row.

Each invitation gets one row with one contact: six households, seven rows, because Emma Lin gets her own, just as she gets her own envelope. Choose the person who reads their messages, and name everyone else from that home on their row.

With No chosen for extra guests, a reply can't add anyone, so Maria could confirm just herself.

On an online invitation, the guest list does the envelope's job. Add one row per household, with a name and an email or phone number, and name everyone else invited from that home on the same row.

1. Add one guest per household, with their name plus an email address or a phone number. Their invitation goes to that one contact.
2. Name the rest of the household on that guest's row. In InviteBird, set "Plus-ones they may bring" when you add the guest, then name each person from the guest's row.
3. Set the limit for extra guests. It is one number, between 1 and 10, that applies to every guest, and each guest picks their own party size within it when they reply. Match it to your largest household, such as 3 for a family of four. Choose No only if every invitation is for one person.
4. Give grown children and roommates their own row, with their own email or phone, as you would give them their own envelope.
5. If the link may be passed around, turn on "Only guests on my list can RSVP". Replies are then limited to people whose name and email or phone match your list.
6. Check your host name. Each email arrives from your host name "via InviteBird", which plays the part of the return address.

Because the same limit covers all replies, a guest you listed alone could still add people. As replies arrive, check each household's party in the Guests & RSVP tab. If one has grown, talk to the guest, as you would about a paper reply with extra names.

Keep names off the envelope message. The closed envelope guests tap to open shows the same short headline to everyone, such as "You're invited", so a name there would greet every guest the same way.

If two people in one home share an email address, InviteBird won't add the second one as a separate guest. It asks you to add them as a plus-one on the first person's row instead.

Guests with an email address get the invitation by email, even if you also have their phone number. Guests with only a phone number get a text, for US and Canada numbers.

Some traditional forms hurt more than they help. Leave them out when they don't fit the guest.

• A widow has told you how she likes to be addressed: skip "Mrs. Robert Hale" and use her choice.
• A married guest uses her own last name: skip "Mr. and Mrs." and write both full names.
• A guest has changed their name or title: skip the old one, and use Mx. if they prefer it.
• A couple has recently separated: skip the shared envelope, and send each their own if both are invited.
• Children are not invited: skip the family form and any children's names.
• You don't know a plus-one's name: skip "and Guest" on the outer envelope.

Once your list is addressed, choose a design and add each household as one guest with an email or phone number. Pick the most any reply may add, name the companions, and send.

InviteBird invitations are design free, pay when you send — from $9.99. Plans are one-time per event and sized by everyone at the door, plus-ones included; Flight is $49.99 for up to 100 guests.